an almost random friend told me today that he doesn’t eat his dinner
until he sees the moon in the night sky
because he made a pact with his best friend that no matter wherever they are,
they would always eat dinner together,
the moon their signal to eat.
he thought i’d be freaked out with the information,
but it warmed my heart in a way only hot chocolate can,
on a Christmas eve,
and although winter never felt like my season,
i kind of miss it now,
for all the warmth that was never there,
could be blamed on the weather.
a friend told me how she’d suppressed things for so long now,
she couldn’t let things out, even if she wanted to.
it made me so sad,
that given so many apparent social platforms,
we still struggle so much when it comes to expression.
stay with people who feel like sunshine,
who kiss you in the middle of the road in broad daylight,
and make you feel rebellious in a way only they can.
the other day, i was so disturbed i couldn’t even breathe properly,
and in a car where i couldn’t put the windows down,
i listened to our song,
pretending it didn’t feel magical,
like it didn’t help me calm down,
even if only a little.
later that night,
we held each other through the night,
waking up sweating in the heat,
but having found comfort in places we often forget to look in.
so these days, when you ask me,
if i reached home safely,
i don’t know what to say,
i don’t know which home you’re talking about,
which one is here to stay.
Photograph by Nishant Baruah