Frozen Emotions

“… Touching a demon heart on the terrace.”- Anurag Rudra

It was raining when I reached home. By the time I entered my living room, I was completely drenched. I rushed upstairs to our room. “Pooja, I’m home. Let’s have lunch”, I called out. No answer. I cried her name a second time, then a third. Still no answer. I took a quick shower and went to hang the clothes. It was then that I spotted her in the balcony. There she was, fast asleep, with a pink notebook in her hand.
Ah! The epitome of innocence, a child she was. Unaware of the vicious world around her, she blindly trusted anyone who came her way. Me, the most. Sometimes, this very fact shook my being, and I did not feel confident anymore. She was my responsibility, her smile the reason for my existence. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to love her the way I did. These days, I couldn’t even hold her in my arms the way I used to, I was dead scared she would be hurt.
How many more days did she have? A year, perhaps two? I still vividly remember the day we got married. I still remember the vows we took. I still remember the first night we spent together. The exact moment when I said, “I promise to love you forever.” And I still remember what she said. “Forever is a long time, Aditya. I’m not sure of forever. But I promise to love you till death, and even after that, consciously or otherwise.”
As I think of all this, tears fill up my eyes. Sigh. It’s time for her medicines; my earnest efforts to increase time of her life, even seconds if possible. I love her, and nothing or no one can change that. Even in my darkest imagination ever, I can’t see us parting. ‘Till death do us apart’ was never what we felt. Too strong to resist death, that is what defined our love for each other.
Someone’s knocking at the door. Who it could be at this odd hour, I wonder. As I search for my slippers, she rushes into the room with a box in her hand. “PIZZA”, she exclaims, and I fall in love again, with the spark in her eyes, with the smile on her lips, with the blush on her cheeks, and with her, again. Ah! This feels so wonderful, so heavenly. The moment is just so right. I wish I could lock it, and never let it go… “Get up you lazybones, you’ve been dreaming a lot these days, huh?”, there she was, with a playful look, staring right into my eyes. “Um, yeah…’cause dreams are forever ours”, I somehow managed the words. “I’m not going anywhere, Aadi”, she smiled, “Dreams, and hopes, and love, and…and us, are meant to be forever.” “And miracles? What do you think about miracles?”, I said. She laughed. “I love you, my Landon Carter”, she said giggling, “come let’s have pizza. I’m famished, seriously”, and she went to fetch the dishes. I sighed, and waited, and at that moment, I knew. She was the one, and I could wait on, till she held on to life, to me.


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